As a coach and mentor, I'm frequently asked, "When is it time to throw in the towel?"
And honestly, my answer is pretty much the same across the board.
It's why I stress the importance of doing your research on a facility or company before signing on the dotted line.
Read the reviews, ask around, and get the lowdown.
Why wouldn’t you take these steps?
After all, they're definitely doing their homework on you to see if you fit their mold.
Being a Director of Nursing is a labor of love, and sometimes it feels like you’re pouring your heart, soul, and countless hours into a facility only to feel disregarded.
But there will be those golden times when you work for a company that actually pours back into you, where mutual respect and support are the norms rather than the exceptions.
The Decision to Walk Away
The question of when to walk away is deeply personal.
It’s kind of like my own experience with marriage.
I was married for ten years, and let me tell you, I had a lot of people telling me, "You need to leave."
But I didn't—at least, not right away.
I walked away when I knew with absolute certainty that respect was no longer being served, that support was no longer on the menu, and that I was pouring into something that wasn’t pouring back into me.
Now, you might be wondering what the heck this has to do with leaving your job. 😂
Well, here's the thing: a career as a Director of Nursing is a lot like a marriage.
You end up spending more time with your administrator and work family than you do with your actual family.
And when you find yourself not receiving what you’re giving—especially when it comes to support and respect—it might be your cue to walk away.
Signs It's Time to Walk Away
If you're sitting there asking yourself, "Should I walk away?" take a moment.
Don’t make an emotional decision in the heat of the moment.
Evaluate the pros and cons and ask yourself this crucial question: "What have I become while working here?"
This is something we don’t often think or talk about. Has the job changed you, and not for the better?
Here are some signs it might be time to move on:
Poor Appetite or Weight Gain: Has the stress of the job affected your health? Are you eating too little or too much?
New Medications: Have you had to start medication due to anxiety, depression, or other stress-related conditions since starting this job?
Dreading Work: Do you wake up each morning with a feeling of dread at the thought of going to work?
Loss of Passion: Do you find that your enthusiasm for nursing has dwindled, replaced by exhaustion and frustration?
If you’re nodding along to these points, it might be time to reconsider your current role.
Walking away doesn't mean you’ve failed; it means you’re choosing yourself over anything else. And that is okay.
When to Stay
On the flip side, if you wake up excited to go to work, have great support, and maintain a good work-life balance, then congratulations—you’ve found your people! In that case, keep pouring into that facility and watch it pour back into you.
Set Boundaries
Regardless of whether you stay or go, it's important to establish boundaries.
Know what you’re willing to tolerate and what you’re not.
Boundaries are not about being difficult; they’re about maintaining your mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
They allow you to give your best at work while still keeping something left for yourself and your loved ones.
The Bottom Line
Walking away from a job is never an easy decision, but sometimes it’s the healthiest one you can make.
Evaluate your situation, understand your worth, and don’t be afraid to choose yourself.
You are the most important investment you’ll ever make.
If you’re struggling with this decision or need some guidance on where to go next, feel free to reach out.
Let’s talk it through, because sometimes, a little outside perspective can make all the difference.
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Here are some suggestions to prevent exiting the role:
^Participate in a DON in training program ^Leave during the weekday early every week to rejuvenate e.g. a massage, do a playful sport e.g. bowling, miniature golf, yoga, or badminton,
^ Detox e.g. steam or hydro sauna, manicure, epsom salt bubble bath…
^Monthly go out e.g. new church, see a play, do a different restaurant, see a movie…
^Participate in a monthly DON or support group and/or utilize this one to one mentorship
^Read a short book on Leadership e.g. The One Minute Manager or Monday Morning Leadership…
^Get a DON Buddy & talk and listen, And there is so much more.
Our industry desperately needs you, but we need you intact,…