💜 Walking for a Cause: How Alzheimer’s Reminded Me of the Heart of Leadership

🌅 The Morning I Almost Stayed Home

I didn’t wake up this morning expecting to cry. But life has a way of reminding you why you show up.

I wasn’t in the mood to go anywhere. I was tired and mentally drained. But when I give my word, I mean it. If I tell you I’ll be there, consider it done.

One of my team members invited me to the Alzheimer’s Walk here in Houston. Even though I don’t work for the company, I knew it was for a great cause — so I showed up.

When I arrived and saw the sea of purple shirts, families walking hand in hand, and people of all ages gathered for one purpose, I knew I’d made the right decision.

The energy was powerful — united, hopeful, and filled with love. As several speakers shared their stories, my mind wandered to someone very dear to me: my grandmother.

🩵 Ma — My Grandmother, My 2nd Teacher

My grandmother had Alzheimer’s, and I was blessed with the opportunity to take care of her until she passed away.

Although she was my grandmother, I always called her Ma. Every time I did, she’d smile and say, “Out of all my grandchildren, you’re the only one who calls me Ma,” and we’d both laugh.

She was also a nurse — strong, wise, and full of life. She lived with me, and every night we’d talk about my day at work. She encouraged me in everything I did.

One small habit I picked up from her — one I still do today — is making my bed every morning. When I was younger and would spend time with her, I’d help her make her king-size bed, the one that sat high and was covered in pillows.

I can still see her puckering her lips as she reached across the bed, short in stature but determined to make it perfect.

At the time, I didn’t realize she was practicing pursed-lip breathing — something I would later learn about in nursing school from her years of living with asthma.

Watching her do that every morning became more than just a routine — it was a lesson.

Without saying a word, she was teaching me consistency.

That simple act of making the bed every day stayed with me. It’s the first thing I do every morning — not out of habit, but out of gratitude.

It reminds me that how you start your day sets the tone for how you lead your life.

Ma’s consistency taught me that leadership begins in the smallest actions — in showing up for yourself before you show up for others.

🌙 The Night Before Goodbye

The night before I started my new position as an Administrator, she was restless — up all night, praying out loud. I could hear her voice through the walls saying, “Oh Lord, take me now… oh no Lord, don’t take me now. She’s so good to me.”

I got up, went to her room, and said, “Ma, what’s going on?” She looked at me and said, “What are you doing up?” I told her I couldn’t sleep because I kept hearing her voice.

Then she looked at me, calm and clear, and said words that still echo in my mind:

“You will sleep soon.”

I remember that moment like it was yesterday. I gave her a back rub, something to eat, and her Ativan.

She was on hospice care at the time, so I called the nurse to come check on her.

They transferred her to the Gatehouse for symptom management — and she never came home.

She knew it was her time.And those words — “You will sleep soon” — live rent-free in my mind. I know now that she was preparing both of us for peace.

🕊️ The Whisper I’ll Never Forget

I remember the day of her funeral. The room was full — family, friends, people whose lives she touched.

I was holding it together, being strong for my mother and my children. I didn’t shed a tear.

But when everyone left, I walked back inside. It was quiet — just me and her. I leaned on her casket, leaned close to her ear, and whispered,

“I hope I did right by you. I’m sorry if I ever came up short. I’ll continue to make you proud.”

That’s when the tears came. Alone in that room, I finally let go. I cried for her, for myself, for the love that shaped me and the lessons she left behind.

💜 Leadership, Love, and Legacy

Caring for someone with Alzheimer’s isn’t easy. It can be overwhelming, exhausting, and emotional.

But it teaches you the purest form of love — the kind that expects nothing in return.

To anyone caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s: be patient. Show grace. Lead with kindness.

They may not remember your name every day, but they will always feel your love.

That’s where the leadership lesson comes in.

Leadership isn’t about titles, meetings, or checklists. It’s about presence.

 It’s about how you make people feel. It’s showing up — even when you’re tired, even when it’s inconvenient, and even when no one’s watching.

Ma’s memory reminded me today that leadership starts with the heart. It’s about caring deeply for people, being consistent in your word, and giving your best in every season.

Walking for her today wasn’t just about raising awareness — it was about honoring the woman who taught me what it means to lead with love, patience, and integrity.

She may not be here to see the woman I’ve become, but everything I am — the nurse, the mother, the leader — carries her fingerprint.

💜 To every nurse, caregiver, or leader reading this — remember, your presence makes a difference.

Whether you’re leading a team, a household, or your own healing, keep showing up with heart.

Lead with Love

💕YourFavNurseLeader,

Bilquis Ali